The True Reason for Screening
Screening: the most important part of the pre-date process, and an oft discussed topic. However I don't see much discussion on a certain aspect of screening, and would thus like to touch upon it today. Most people seem to think screening is to verify two things:
1. You aren't a cop
2. You aren't an axe murder/time waster/blacklisted
And yes, ascertaining you aren't a legal or physical threat is critically important, but most people who contact me that do not pass screening do not fall into either of the above categories. Why do they not get a date? Allow me to introduce Reason Three:
3. You aren't going to push my boundaries.
This is the chief reason for screening, and the reason most would be clients do not get dates. A lady's process, whatever it might be, is chiefly designed to determine if you will respect her person and boundaries in an intimate setting. This is why I ask all first time friends to show me legal identification when meeting: yes I want to know you are you you say you are, but I also want to know you care enough about making me feel comfortable and safe to comply with the process I have determined makes me feel that way. If you are unwilling or reluctant to show me something you have to show to buy alcohol why in the world should I trust you with something as precious as my body? I understand discretion/fear of angry SOs/fear of professional reputation but guess what trumps all that? My life. You know what outranks the oft quoted most dangerous job in America of fisherman? Hooker. Number 2 doesn't not weed out everyone who would do me harm, simply not having been to jail is not enough. The thing is, no matter how thorough a screening process is, consenting to be alone in an intimate setting with a stranger is a high risk endeavor. The wonderful people who see me understand this implicitly and from the first email, make my comfort their priority. If you remember anything about screening, let it be this: it's about making her feel safe and respected, and if you are uncomfortable with any part of her process she is likely going to be uncomfortable seeing you. Whatever doubts you have about the risks to you, you should deal with and set them aside before contacting her. If you cannot work through them then professional companionship is not for you, do not ask a lady to "bend" her requirements for you. You are not an exception and no amount of money is worth my life. I hope this post helps those new to companionship and sheds light on the importance of and reasons for screening.