What are you paying for?

What Are You Paying for?

You're hungry. You're yearning. You're unsatisfied. Your job is stressful, your marriage is stale, the ink on the divorce papers is still wet, there is a part of yourself you can't explore or share. What do you need? Well that's obvious. Or is it?

From the crib to the grave, men are socialized to think of themselves as sexually insatiable animals. The context and quality of the sex are secondary to the quantity. Men are also socialized to deny their emotions and emotional needs. Certainly they are taught to divorce them from sex, except in the context of a committed relationship. The Madonna/Whore dichotomy is well known, however men suffer from their own I call the provider/stud complex. What do I mean? I mean that men are expected to either get all of their needs met from a monogamous (usually marriage) relationship in exchange for providing security or they are supposed to fuck everything that moves without a care.

The most satisfying sex has narrative context and trust. Casual sex is often unsatisfying because it's hard to establish this context and trust with someone you do not know well. Hard in the real world, that is. In my world however, it is not only possible, it is the norm. By engaging me, who has already shared much about herself before you even write the first email, you come to the first date knowing more than you could ever know from a dating profile. And by virtue of choosing to reach out to me, even if all you've disclosed is your screening information, if I've done my job right (and I'm pretty confident I have), we will likely have rapport and chemistry. How do I know that? Because I know myself, and I trust that you know yourself. There is a built-in narrative in context when we meet that is naturally exciting and easy to build on. But there's another important piece to this that at first blush seems limiting but is in fact key to the magic. What is that? Boundaries.

I require all my clients approached me in a certain way and do certain things. It can be very hard in civilian relationships, sexual or not, to communicate and negotiate needs and boundaries. In this space, an excellent foundation is set for communication to flow easily both ways. Being Ava has made it easier for me to navigate the spaces in my personal life, and several of my clients have told me that it has helped them in their civvie relationships as well. When the rules of the game are known and abided by all players, the game has a chance to get really exciting. The patronage, the etiquette, the deposit, the screening: all of those are integral pieces for setting up the board. You are paying for that structure and security to let go and be your true, intimate self. The game is exciting, you don't quite know how it will unfold but are pretty confident it will result with both of us winning. You aren't paying for the ending, but how you get there. And that's wherein the magic lies. Ready to play?