Homecoming
Well, hi there! It’s been a while since we last talked hasn’t it? April 2018 was our last chat actually. So what happened?
In late May 2018, I slipped in an unremarkable manner, only to sustain a rather remarkable injury: tibial plateau fracture. The prescription? Surgery and 3 months non weight bearing, followed by 6 months of rehab. I want to take a moment to acknowledge and thank everyone who supported me with their well wishes, my friends and colleagues who went above and beyond and my clients who prepaid for dates so I’d have some income while I recovered. As someone who thrives on giving and helping others, asking for and receiving help was a difficult yet humbling experience. I’ve never experienced so much love and support, thank you. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to recover and that Ava was ready for me when I was able to return.
I could say so many things about this past year, but what really sticks with me is how important it is to savor the present moment. Having been stuck in a wheelchair for three months, I learned a lot about relishing the present, even when it’s not exactly (or remotely) what you want it to be. A companionship experience is like any other experience: you get out of it the effort you put into it. My work can be described as fostering environments and connections where such moments can take root and flourish. It takes 2 (sometimes 3 ;D) to create these moments, and if all participants give their full effort magic happens that lasts far beyond the goodbye kiss. I truly believe companionship allows both my clients and myself an opportunity to live in the present that frankly, in today’s world we often neglect to do. We (me included) are constantly plugged into the virtual world, making the real one easy to miss.
Being temporarily profoundly disabled as a previously mostly abled bodied 27 year old caused a paradigm shift in how I approach my physical and mental health. I recently started a daily meditation practice, because my mind is more cluttered than my closet. While it hasn’t decluttered it completely, it has made the clutter easier to cut through to relish the pure joy of the present moment. Really great Ava moments, of which I’m fortunate to have experienced many, are akin to the most blissful of meditations. The past and future do not exist, phones are silenced, and unfiltered pleasure and fulfilment washes over me. These moments are akin to an orgasm but are not limited to the erotic: something about the confines of compansionship, with expectations and boundries so clearly defined, allows for a kind of openess in comminication of needs and desires that moments of sublime connection are not only possible, but commonplace. The more I meditate, the more I’m able to get into the headspace that brings these types of moments to fruition, both as Ava and in my personal life.
Companionship means different things to different people, but for me it’s always been about holding and creating space for a kind of connection that eludes so many of us in our day to day lives; a small magical world only we get to visit. Being forced to leave that world for a little while only made me appreciate its magic all the more. It’s nice to be home. Please come visit soon!
Xoxo,