On Being My Own Muse

I talk frequently about how my creative self enhances my relationships with clients, hence the title "Your Erotic Muse." However I have lately been ruminating on how companionship has grown and nourished my own creative endeavors. 

Before Ava was born I studied English Literature and Creative Writing at a wonderful liberal arts college. I knew I wanted to be a writer, but after school ended I drifted for a couple years due to my uncertainty in how to get where I wanted to go. Something that helped during this time was Neil Gaiman's "Make Good Art" speech. He talks about his goal of becoming a writer as a mountain, and making choices that would bring him closer to the mountain. As I was seeing friends go to grad school and start entry level 9-5 jobs I felt conflicted: neither option felt like it would draw me closer to my mountain. And so I began thinking outside the box (a realm I've always preferred) and eventually decided to try independent sex work. I've discussed the emotional fulfillment being Ava gives me before, but haven't really touched on how it's grown me as a person. 

Becoming Ava has grown and challenged me in ways I could never have fathomed. Meeting people of all ages and from so many different walks of life has enriched my worldview more than any grad program or corporate job ever could. I have learned so much creatively from working for myself and managing every part of my business. I actually learned I have a decent head for business, something I would never have discovered had I not taken this path. I've seen my writing touch and influence people. Another thing I want to add is how much more comfortable I am going outside my comfort zone. In my creative, professional, and personal life I am much more willing to take risks, assert my needs, and follow my bliss. I write more, I read more. I am more careful about who I choose to invest my time and love into and nurture the relationships that matter most to me more than I ever have. 

I was told growing up "to whom much is given, much is expected." Sex work has given me so much, more than I could have imagined. It has expanded and altered the shape of my dreams and what I expect of myself. While I enjoy inspiring others, looking at a new year I am amazed at reflecting how much I am inspired by my work and the people I've met and hope to meet. Thank you all.